


How should I know what it feels like?

by Allknowstone



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-24
Updated: 2015-12-08
Packaged: 2018-04-23 05:14:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4864439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Allknowstone/pseuds/Allknowstone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some things aren't that crystal clear from the beginning...at least for some persons.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So...my first fic ever. I had ideas for it for a while so I decided to write them down and see where it goes. I'm sorry if my english isn't the best, sadly I am no native speaker :D  
> But, yeah try to enjoy the first part :)

Raindrops falling from the sky, feeling bigger than motherfucking footballs landed on Beca's head, wetting her hair while she walks home from her lessons. Home in this case meant as the Bella's sorority house. Beca would never ever say out loud that it's way easier for her to call this white-blue painted building her home than she first thought. But honestly joining the Bellas was one of the best things – if not even the best thing – that's ever happened to Beca. Even if it had needed a bit of “help” from an energetic little redhead. This thought makes her smile. Beca loves to think back to the time when she didn't know Chloe as good as she does now. Even if she still doesn't completely get how her co-leader has managed to dig her way that deep into Beca's heart. To be honest, all of the Bellas kinda made it deeper than anyone before. And it wasn't like Beca had ever expected it to be. It wasn't hurtful or something. It was easy with these girls. Not that Beca has changed even a little bit to all the other persons – she even falls back into her old self when she's hanging around with the girls sometimes – but somehow she can let herself go a little bit more than before when she is with these girls. They're all so unique and everybody of them has this special thing that makes Beca smile to herself when she thinks about it.

\--

“Hey girl! What's up?”  
Beca winces when Stacie suddenly stands in front of her, gorgeous as ever, a bright smile lighting up her face.

“Stacie! You scared me to death!” Beca manages to say but somehow it wasn't that powerful because she began to grin midway through the sentence. Stacie's smile widens before she talks again.

“You should've seen your face, cap! But seriously, what's going on in there” she points at Beca's head “that you walk around grinning like an idiot. That's not the normal you. Especially in this weather.”

“I just thought of how you people make my everyday so different to what I imagined it to be like, two and a half years ago.”

“We do? I would feel more honored cap but I have to catch the next bus.”

“Why?”

As an answer, Stacie just waves with a binder she holds in her right hand and winks. After giving Beca a hug she walks down the wooden way in the houses garden straight towards the busstop down the road. Beca shakes a bit to get rid of the hug-feeling which is a feeling she doesn't really likes and steps towards the house's backdoor. 

 

She finds herself embraced by the smell of freshly baked cookies, when she's entered the house. “Hey!” Beca shouts through the living room “Somebody here in this goddamn house?”  
She hears Jessica answering before the blonde girl enters the living room with a kitchen apron covering her jeans waist-down and a pair of oven gloves protecting her hands from the hot cookie sheet she's holding.

“So you're the master baker in this house, Jess. They smell really good.” Beca says and nods in the direction of the cookies. “Thank you”, the blonde girl responds with a smile in her face. Why the fuck is everybody so fucking happy today? Beca asks herself before she jokingly says: “They better taste the way they smell. Because, if not, you know who's the one playing seven minutes in heaven with Lilly next time we'll play truth or dare.” Jessica just shakes her head and turns around to get back to the kitchen. After a few steps she stops and says: “I think the other ones are already back too, so don't wonder if Amy and Ash are playing cards right on the head of the stairs again.”  
Beca smiles and goes up the stairs to reach her and Amy's shared room.

\--

As Jessica has said, Ashley and Fat Amy are playing cards but luckily not right in the way of everybody but on a table they obviously have moved out of Ashley and Jessica's room to the hallway.

“What are you two weirdos playing this time?” Beca asks the two girls.

“Right now nothing because you distract the grandmaster.” comes the typical Amy-answer. Ashley shakes her head before answering: “Right now we're not playing for real...”

“I just said that!”

“Shut up Amy, I believe way more in what Ash tells me than in your Dingo-wrestling stories.”

“Thanks, Bec.” Ashley laughs “But we're not not playing because you're distracting our self-declared grandmaster over there but because we're waiting for Cynthia to come over and play Wizard with us. Amy just found this game under tons of college stuff so we thought we could try it.”

“Yeah, you wanna join?” Cynthia-Rose's smoky voice asks from a few meters down the hallway.

“No thanks, CR. I have to discuss some things with Chloe.”

“Yeah Rosie, our captain just doesn't want to get triple bashed so hard that she couldn't even crawl to her girl...I mean best friend.”

CR and Beca simultaneously let hear an annoyed “Shut up, Amy!” The meant just shrugs and begins to shuffle.

 

After drying her hair a bit, Beca goes over to Chloe's room. Before knocking she realizes that she blushes and tries to get it off with a shake of her head. “Come in!” is Chloe's answer to the typical rhythm Beca always knocks.

She finds the redhead sitting in front of her laptop clicking through something that looks like a Facebook profile. “Watcha doing?” Beca asks. Chloe turns around to answer but then shrieks and jumps off her chair when she realizes how wet the brunette's clothes are. “Calm down Chloe, it's only a bit of water.” Beca tries to push Chloe back in her seat but fails because of the heigth-difference between them. Chloe shakes her head with a disbelieving smile. “'A bit of water'? You're wetter than me, when I'm...” “Chloe!” The older Bella laughs at the sight of Beca's face reddening. Beca doesn't like to talk about these things. Chloe knows that and she loves playing these cards against her. Beca looks down to her toes and hopes that the red color is gone when she looks back up again to ask again what Chloe is doing at her laptop. “Looking someone up on Facebook?”

“Yeah, I can show you who it is if you want to.”

“I beg you, Chloe! I mean, Chloe Beale stalking someone over Facebook who wouldn't want to know who's the object?”

“I'm not stalking anybody, Becs. It's just, that we'll maybe get a new member next year.”

“We will get plenty I think. But you won't be here next year so why does that bother you?”

“I don't talk about school years, Mitchell, I'm talking about next year like the year 2013 you know? And who says I won't be here next school year? I don't think I am good enough to get through Russian lit this time.”

“Chloe you can't fail another time on purpose just to stay at us. As much as we all love you, but don't you think you'll get problems? With the dean or your parents?”

“No. No, I don't think so. But, hey, I think you wanted to know who it is I was looking up.”

“Sure.”

“Her name is Florencia Fuentes and the government decided to put her through the last few years on college before they will decide if she has to go back to Guatemala. And she said she wants to go somewhere where she can sing and dance so they sent her to Barden.”

“So you think we should let an illegal immigrant audition for us just because she said she likes to sing and dance?”

“Don't forget that I convinced you to audition for us and you didn't even like singing or dancing.”

“That's a completely different thing, Chloe.”

“I know. Whatever, I think Florencia will arrive here around New Year so we still have like three weeks to talk to the other Bellas.”

“I don't think they will say anything against it. By the way, do you think we should take a break from rehearsing for the ICCAs? I think the girls would really appreciate that and we could do some other holiday activities than just...singing and dancing.”

“It's a good idea. I could visit Bree. I haven't seen her in a while.”

Beca chews on her tongue as she has an idea in her head which she isn't sure she should say out loud. Chloe doesn't seem to notice as she starts to hum 'Last Christmas' so Beca takes all the time she has to rethink her idea but then she asks: “Why don't we just invite her to come over? Maybe over Christmas...I mean, we all haven't seen her in a long time and as hard as it is for me to admit but I'd really like to see her again.”

“You' re kidding me, right Becs?” The suprise is written in Chloe's face and clearly audible in her voice.

“Nah, I'm n...” Beca is interrupted by Chloe jumping towards her and pulling her in a really tight hug. “Beale, if you don't want me to rethink what I said then for fuck's sake let me breath.” Beca doesn't like hugs. Not even from Chloe. Chloe knows that too. Like she has a plan of everything that annoys Beca just in case she might need it. At the moment she doesn't need it so she lets Beca go who at first takes two steps back and then glares at Chloe. “Do. Not. Do. This. Ever. Ever. Ever again!”

“You sure...?”

“Yes. And now, I'm leaving Miss Beale, because I had enough human contact for the day.” Beca turns around and walks up to the door. Before walking out she remembers a question she wanted to ask somebody since she got home today. “I just met Stacie in the garden. She was on her way to the bus stop but she didn't want to tell me where she was going. Do you know something about that?”

“Maybe I do, Beca. But right now, I really have to do things which need my full attention.” And with a wink she turns around and opens another tab in her browser. Before she starts typing the URL in, Beca leaves with a horrified look on her face.

\--

The first thing Beca does after entering the room she shares with Amy is searching for dry clothes. Somewhere on the floor she finds her favorite pair of sweatpants, a nice wide t-shirt and a soft, warm jumper. “Good thing Amy doesn't really care about stuff being tidy.” Beca murmurs. With two short movements she gets nice comfortable underwear out of her drawer and throws everything over her shoulder.

She goes straight to the stairs which lead to 3rd floor with the three bathrooms of the Bella's house. The girls were so happy after they found out that there were three bathrooms because it would've been horror if there was only one bathroom for eight girls. They even manage to have troubles with three bathrooms sometimes. Beca really likes these three rooms. Each of them is painted and furnished differently so that every girl has her favorite one. Beca turns right and faces the one with the dark-red and black tiles on the ground and the modernest furniture. After locking the door she tries to get out of her clothes but her trousers and her t-shirt are so wet that she needs like five minutes for that.

Shivering because of the cold wetness all over her body Beca steps in the shower an turns the water on. At the first moment the hot water feels like it would burn her skin away but after a while she it adjusts to the heat and Beca just stands there under the shower with water running over her body and she does nothing but staring in the air with an empty mind.

Suddenly she hears Jessica bursting into a song. She turns off the water to recognize the song the girl's singing. After a few bars she identifies the song as 'I'm blue' from Eiffel 65 and for some reason the urge to join her is that big that Beca when she turns on the water again just sings along the all time-excited blonde.

It feels awesome. Beca hums to one song after another and notices that, song after song, more girls join in the spontaneous singing session. It is the first time since a certain shower incident that she sings in the shower. She hasn't even sung when she's known that she was all alone in the house because the flashbacks usually hit her when there's any little thing that reminds her of Chloe bursting into her shower stall in Beca's freshman year. But today is different. It's not only that, but for the first time in the last few months Beca is deeply relaxed and doesn't care about anything. Not even when Amy knocks at the door and calls in: “Turn down the water, tiny, you're not an alligator! And I know alligators when I see them.” Beca just smiles but doesn't answer to this so Amy just says with a voice you can tell from that she shrugs: “Just sayin'. Don't need to waste that much water, though, ya know? Aaaah I see, I'm talking against a brick wall. See ya later, grumpy cat!”

Beca smiles. She hasn't even noticed that she hasn't turned off the water so it still runs after nearly twenty minutes of completely lost in thought singing. She turns it off and reaches for her shampoo. After the fog on the shower doors has disappeared she looks around the room to give her eyes a thing to do. The weather outside caught her eye. Where it's been raining nearly the whole day there's now nearly a snowstorm. Beca's lips form a silent “wow” as she looks through the window seeing nearly every raindrop from half an hour ago replaced by snowflakes.

As shampoo runs in her eyes Beca flinches and blinks hard to get it out. As this proves itself as hopeless she just washes it out. She still hears some of the girls singing but this time Beca remains quiet. The tiles are pleasantly warm thanks to the underfloor heating when Beca gets out of the shower to dress. After she got into her clothes she brushes her hair and organizes it in a loose ponytail. Before she gets out she opens the window and turns off the heating to air the room. She's sure she will forget that she opened the window and that someone of the others will have a terrible outrage because of it but at the moment, Beca doesn't care.

\--

“Close the door behind you, mermaid!”

“Three new nicknames in less than an hour. You're on a good way to a new record, Amy.”

“Yeah I'm good, aren't I? But nonetheless close the fucking door! My ass freezes at this temperatures.”

“The door is closed, Amy. The cold has to come from downstairs.”

“Then go and close this door. For what am I paying you?”

“You ain't...Stacie?”

The tall brunette looks like a snowman – okay a snowwoman. Even with snow everywhere in her hair and at the top of her hood and shoulders and, like, well everywhere else, Stacie still looks hotter than every other human being on the planet.

“'Sup, cap?” She says with a smile “Never seen something hot with snow on the surface?”

“I'm pretty sure she's already seen me covered in snow, Stace”, Amy throws in. Stacie and Beca both roll their eyes simultaneously.

“No, I just wondered why you're back that fast. It's been just an hour. Or even less.” Beca answers with a short look on her iPhone.

“Yeah, I hadn't to do that much. Just hand in my homework in physics. You know, the thing I wrote the last month?”

“I remember something. I won't understand it anyways but what was the topic?”  
Amy clears her throat before interrupting the conversation again. “If I'm not totally wrong it was about the friction of two bodies who move against each other...aaaaaah I think there's some cake down there. I'll go and get it”, she adds when Beca and Stacie both shoot her glares able to kill a corpse once more.

“So...” Beca starts, smiling because of the horrified look in Amy's face when she turns around “What was the topic? I think Amy didn't really know shit about it.”

“It was about the theory of the big bang and what happened immediately after it. Lot of maths and theoretical physics. I don't even know if my prof will get it.”

“So that's why you took the bus? This wasn't the original you handed out to your professor, was it?”

“Nah, I heard of one of the most talented physician of the U.S. and that he's here for a while so I decided to hand my work out to him as well.”

“Stacie, you're intelligence makes me jealous. That's just nor fair...” Beca says with faked sadness in her voice. The taller brunette cocks her head and then says with surprise in her voice that's not even half as faked as Beca's sadness: “For real? I'm standing here with my body that could melt tons of steel as hot as it is and you are jealous because I'm intelligent? Beca you're scaring me.” She shakes her head. “I mean, for real...”

“Stacie, I'm not that type of girl that looks at the bodies of other girls. And I think somewhere in your big bang thing you should have found the time when the universe said: “You know what'd be kinda funny? I'll make one person out of all my best atoms who's so hot that every mentioning will be unnecessary. So I'll say it for one time: Stacie you're hot as hell. The universe has spoken.” You know that's how I picture you're creation.”

“You're so cute, cap. But I think my unsurpassed beauty is just the perfect match of an Italian dad and a Swedish mother. Even if I'm not blonde, I have to thank her for everything downwards my boobs. But now I want to get rid of this cold white stuff everywhere on my body so excuse me I'll take a shower.”

“Don't forget to wax your Swedish legs, girl!” Beca shouts after her with unmistakable sarcasm in her voice.

“I don't only wax my legs, cap.” And with a wink that's thrown over her shoulder, Stacie walks into her room.

\--

Beca smirks and turns towards the direction in which Amy has fled minutes ago. Before she takes the stairs and goes to the other girls, she first steps into her room an grabs her laptop. The moment she feels it in her hands, her mood gets a crack because the weight of her computer reminds her of the missing weight of her headphones. Beca can't find them since a few days and she's searched like, everywhere. But since she's pretty sure that Amy will return soon Beca rather searches for a nearly quiet place on the first floor. She's pretty good in disappearing in this house. Maybe Lilly's the only one of the Bellas who can do it better.

\--

Since Stacie's arrived all the girls – well, in exception of Lilly – have gathered around the wooden table in the living room through which Beca has entered the house. They're all sitting in their favorite spots:

Jessica, still rosy-cheeked from her baking session cuddles with Ashley on the three-person couch;

Amy has taken place to their left in the most comfortable armchair they have – at least it is in her opinion;

Cynthia-Rose sits to Ashley's right in the two-seater the Trebles have given them as a gift. It's made from – ironically – three old car seats and CR often says it is the only thing the Trebles are worth existing for because she can still slide forth and back on the rail at the bottom of the seats and she also can lean back when she doesn't need to listen to anybody.

There is still space on the left seat of their 'carcouch' that is reserved for Lilly. But as always “Nobody knows where the Asian whisper-witch hangs around today” Amy says.

Opposite of the Jessica and Ashley's couch, the biggest sofa is standing: Enough space for four persons but usually more than the half of this sofa is covered with tons of notes, music and nearly all the random stuff you can find in a house. This is the place where Chloe has taken seat.  
The two spots remaining, one to Chloe's right on the sofa and one between it and Amy's armchair, are reserved for Beca and Stacie.

Stacie's seat consists of a mattress lying on the ground and a beanbag thrown on it while Beca normally just takes place on the same couch as Chloe. Exactly as she does right now.

\--

“Why...do we all sit here?” she asks, unsure if it'll go a good way for her.

“Nice that you also came to visit us, queen B.” Amy pats herself on the back for using this pun.

“New record”, Beca dry says with a look on her cellphone “48 minutes and four nicknames. You're in form, Amy.”

Amy does her typical success-move: One floating move that includes clapping her hands together, then slapping them to her stomach and finally making fists. “Whoop whoop, Fat Amy the star motherfuckers!”

“Didn't you use this name just yesterday for her?” CR asks and her mouth turns into a grin while Amy's face freezes.

“Yes, I did.”

“So I don't think, we can count this one. You know the rules Amy: At least a two week break before using a name again.” As Amy wants to say something she just pulls out a piece of paper and reads: “Paragraph four point one: The used nicknames for the name-counting challenge have to be unused for a time span of at least fourteen days. I didn't make the rules girl.”

“You've goddamn rules for this bullshit?” Beca asks the blonde girl who nods and then with a wink says: “Every game has its rules, I just wrote them down.”

“What do you mean?”

“You really don't know, cap?”

“Stacie! It's the second time today you're scaring me to death!”

While Jessica and Ashley at least try to hide their smiles, Chloe, Amy and Stacie just burst out into laughter and CR looks like she's going to explode because of her noiseless giggles.

“For real, Becs? You get a fright that easy? I thought you're the one who walks around with her own cloud of fear and terror to hold away anybody.” Chloe manages to say while wiping the tears off her eyes. Beca shoots her a sarcastic glare.

“Well, I would do it with my headphones but one of you bitches stole them so I can't hold people off with just ignoring them anymore.”

“Oh yeah, I'm sorry Beca, that was me.”

“Jess?” The surprise is written in Stacie's face.

“Yeah, they're like the best pair of headphones I've ever used so I rented them to listen to music when studying or just today when I was baking...I'm sorry. But...but I would've given them back if you've asked.”

Beca really has to hold back her anger but anyways it feels like somebody has opened the door because suddenly it seems to be like 10 degrees colder than before. She manages to keep calm and asks: “So Stacie, what should I know about rules or whatever?”

“You know, cap, I don't feel like talking about that now. You'll see sooner or later. At the moment I feel much more like taking one of these delicious cookies and asking you guys why you're all sitting here. Did I miss something and we have a meeting?”

“Nah, you didn't miss anything, but reddie over there said that there are news for us so we just took place...and yeah.”

“Amy, you can still call people by their names, you know?”

Chloe interrupts the two with a smile. “Just leave it be, Ash, you know how Amy works. Well, yeah first of all, since tomorrow is the start of the holidays, we decided to...” She gives Beca a questioning look, who doesn't respond on that but just ends her co-captains sentence: “We decided to do a rehearsing break over the holidays and also maybe invite Aubrey. Since she's never seen the house for real and we all haven't seen her in a long time, it would be nice for all of us if she could come over for Christmas. What do you think?”

The reactions are way more positive than Beca has thought they will be. Only Amy had a thing to say: “If that person will make me run or something she's on her flight home within five minutes.”  
Nobody even bothers to say something about this. The girls only fall silent when Chloe clears her throat and announces that they may get a new member. Of course this causes a bunch of questions and after a few minutes Chloe just opens facebook on the living room laptop and shows them the girl. Especially Lilly (no one has noticed that she'd gotten in the room too) was really excited about it. And while Amy tries to convince them that she knows a female wallaby who's an excellent singer, Beca sneaks out of the room.

 

She gets a dry jacket in the entrance hall and takes the shortest way to their rehearsal hall. It's only a few hundred meters away from the Bella's house but Beca's hair still are full of snow when she enters it. She pulls out her laptop under her jacket and places it on the table where it stands every time the Bellas are rehearsing or when she's showing them a new set for the competition. It's not that she's in a bad mood or something like that because she isn't. Beca just searched for a quiet place where she hasn't to interact with people the whole time because somehow today is a bit weird. Everybody seems to be super happy, the weather is just beautiful and for the first time since one and a half years she's sung in the shower again. Beca fears that something really bad will happen today and she's not willing to cause it by interacting too much with people – even if the people are her best friends. She plugs in the speakers of the hall into her laptop and starts the music. Shortly after she glances around just to make sure that she's really alone and then she turns them up to the full volume. The bass causes everything within a radius of 10 meters around the speakers to vibrate.  
Beca feels the music. She never turned the volume up that high but she knows that Amy, Stacie and Chloe've already done it. Not while rehearsing but also when they came here alone. They all did it for different reasons: Chloe, because Tom broke up with her. Nobody knew where she was until Cynthia-Rose had searched outside the house and recognized the music slightly coming through the closed door of their rehearsal hall where she found Chloe crying in a corner.

Amy never told anyone why she'd turned the volume up that high but it's most likely that she just did it because she wanted to, without any special reason.

And Stacie was caught by Ashley only four weeks ago when she was dancing and then starting to strip in front of the mirrors to some Taylor Swift song at full volume. She even caught it on tape. Of course the girl who liked this tape the most was Stacie herself (“Whoa, look at that gorgeous body! I wish I'd stripped completely naked!”).

If Beca should give a reason why she's listening to some of her own mixes with the speakers nearly exploding, she most likely would go with the same reason as Amy – she just doesn't know.  
So she sits there and enjoys the music but after a while Beca remembers why she's even taken her laptop out of her room. And even though she enjoys just listening to the music, there's one thing she likes more: mixing. Beca opens a few windows on her laptop and opens the set for the ICCA she lastly started to mix. And within two or three minutes she gets completely lost in her work.

Every time there's something that just sounds perfect to her, Beca gets goosebumps all over her body. It's just normal for her to feel the music when she puts the different tracks together. But today somehow these moments don't appear. Not that that would push Beca out of the mixing progress back in front of her laptop but it annoys her endlessly. She drowns more and more in the music in order to find the perfect interplay between the songs. Hours pass and the only time the brunette moves is when she gets herself a chair so that she doesn't have to stand anymore.

When even eleven pm has passed Beca pauses her work and sighs. “Awesome” she mutters “something today won't work.” She rubs her nose and falls back in the chair. Her back hurts because of the tension with that she's been sitting the whole time.

“I think it sounds awesome, Becs.” Beca shrieks.

“Oh my god, Chloe! Could you at least announce it when you're entering a room?”

“I did, Becs, you just didn't hear me. I even stood like twenty centimeters beside you but you were just lost in the music. Which I can fully understand, I mean it sounds amazing!”

“Oh...I really didn't recognize you speaking to me. But no. This” Beca throws her hands in the direction of her laptop “sounds like crap.” Then she turns around and her eyes search for Chloe. The older girl sits in a chair she's placed on the stand where Aubrey always made them run up and down. As Beca's eyes meet hers she stands up and walks over to her friend.

“Beca. If I say it sounds amazing then it does sound amazing. For real it's the best set we ever had. It's awesome, okay? You're awesome.”

And for some reason, Beca just can't help but smile and believe Chloe's words. This day is gonna killing me if I don't go to sleep soon. And when her eyes meet Chloe's again her smile just gets brighter.

But there's an emotion hidden behind the bright blue in Chloe's eyes that Beca can't identify.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have to say something, positive or negative and also if you have ideas how to continue the story just tell me. I hope it wasn't that bad and that I can go on as fast as possible.


	2. Chapter 2

Chloe always loved music. Not like other people love music. Not this “oh I really like this song and I could hear it all day long but I wouldn't mind if there's silence” kind of loving music. No, Chloe loves music with all her heart. She always loved to listen to her favorite songs no matter what she did. But when her parents began to fight and her older brother brought home his girlfriends she started to listen to music too blend things out. Things she just didn't want to hear. Her parents' screams, her brother's girlfriends' moaning and all the things that started after that. She exactly still exactly remembers the day her brother came home from a party with blood everywhere over his shirt but he had only a scratch on his face and a black eye telling her that she should never tell a word to their parents. She was only ten back then but when she heard her father shout and her mother cry she realized what happened: Her brother got into a fight because he hadn't paid his drug dealer for a long time and so he had some serious troubles. She was glad when she got to high school and could leave everything behind her back. When she was in her last year at high her parents remarried and her brother came out of prison but she never got away from the music.

That's how she met Aubrey and became friends with her in the first place. Aubrey also was one of these people who always needed to play music in the background. And when they started to sing at the Bellas they became that close friends that after the first semester they moved together in Chloe's dorm room because her previous room mate moved to New York and so there was a free bed in there.

She and Aubrey were the dream team at all they did together. And they did a whole lot of things together. But then Beca came into Chloe's life and something changed. It isn't like she loves Beca but there is this one thing how Aubrey described her when only Chloe was around. “You know, she is music. She can sing, she can dance – if you push her hard enough to do it – and what she does with the songs on her laptop is just amazing.” After that the blonde girl told her to never tell anybody she said that but the first sentence was echoing in Chloe's head so she couldn't say anything anyways.

Beca is music.

That is the thing that makes her special to Chloe. With Aubrey she shares the incredible urge to drown every background noise in music, they shared an endless love with music. But Beca is different. From the first sight on the activities fair she seemed to move to an inner rhythm. A rhythm that's inaudible for everybody else. So Chloe needed a proof that this music can be brought to the outside. And she got it.

When she heard this voice in the bathroom she first didn't think about the sarcastic, dark girl who said she doesn't even sing. But when she recognized that it actually was this girl, Chloe couldn't help but had to see her while singing. And yeah, maybe it was a bit too much to burst into Beca's shower stall nude as god made her but Chloe remembers how the two together have sounded. 

Awesome.

From this day on she wanted to become friends with the dark, mysterious girl and midway through her second senior year, Chloe was able to score the first big success: She actually made Beca watch a whole movie with her without muttering about how Jesse always watches movie with her. And after the movie Beca even said that it wasn't like total crap.

And now, in the third year they know each other Beca had started to call the Bellas her friends. Beca even sometimes comes over to Chloe's room just to talk about random things, like, what outfit she should where when going out or which dumb things Jesse did and so on. They became really good friends and Chloe even began to understand Beca's body language. Which, for real, is a really big deal because that girl really knows how to hide all her emotions.

And today Chloe realized that something was different than usually. Not in a bad way. Also not in a good way. Just different. Chloe first realized it when Beca came to her room. Beca smelled differently. Not that Chloe is a creep or something – okay maybe a little. But only when she really is obsessed with something. Which isn't the case. At least she thinks that it isn't the case – sometimes she isn't that sure about it. But, anyways, Beca behaved a little differently till Chloe decided to hug her because of the wonderful great suggestion to invite Aubrey over over Christmas. At that point Chloe thought she had just imagined that the things took another way than normally.

But then there was the singing session. First she heard Jessica from the living room singing along to one of her absolute favorite songs how Chloe had learned. But just right after Amy started muttering something about ear-drum raping, there was a sound coming from upstairs. And Chloe had heard this sound one time before. She won't forget how Beca Mitchell sounds when she sings under the shower.

“Chloe! You're still with us?” Chloe blinks her thoughts away.

“What? Y-yeah I totally am. Why you're asking?”

“You interrupted me at work, said a few sentences and when I asked you why you came here you didn't even answer but just stared in the air with empty eyes.” She snaps her fingers. “See? Again.”

“I just was a bit lost in thought...”

“You don't say?” Chloe glares at the interruption.

“You're so different today. I just wondered why.”

“I'm not different? I mean what have I done that's not, like, normal.” Beca underlines that last word with a move of her hands.

Chloe grins contentedly. Yeah, you're not behaving slightly different. Go and tell that your teddy bear. “Really? Shall I list the strange thing I recognized today?” As Beca just shrugs, Chloe sighs and continues: “First of all: You sang while you were showering. I think you did not do this since your freshman year. Then you did not completely outrage about Jessica. You know the headphone-thing. And before that you had a weirdly big interest in who it was I was looking up on facebook...”

“I...No let me defend myself. I'm also just a girl and if you'd been stalking a boy I think I as one of your best friends I should have a right to know.”

“Oh, that's different too.” Chloe smiles as she sees Beca's face turn from disbelief in sudden realization.

“I don't know what's going on, Chloe. Today feels so – weird. I dunno. You think it could be the fact that holidays start tomorrow?” The redhead smiles and shakes her head. She loves seeing Beca embarrassed. It's just so cute. She has to hold back a squeal.

“No, Becs, I don't think it has to do with the holidays. But I don't know what it could be. You're not an open book to anybody, ya know? But if this eases you a bit: I think you're not the only one who changed a bit lastly.” Beca just throws her a questioning look. Chloe sighs – she hates having to explain everything. Not that she couldn't do that. As in many other things, she knows she's good at it. But sometimes it's nerve wracking. Especially when she wants to ask so many things herself but just can't because she doesn't get any answers because the other person – this time Beca – has no clue what's going on. So she takes a deep breath and says: “Well, look at Jessica for example: Did she ever bake anything in Christmas time? She barely even cooks for us. Then Ashley and CR: When did they start their gaming sessions with Amy? Just like two months ago. Before that nobody ever wanted to play with her. See, you're not the only one. There's something big going on here. I can feel it.” The last two sentences were too much. She can't hold her laughter anymore.

“Chloe Beale, are you fucking kidding me?” But the rising of the corners of Beca's mouth betrays her.

“I would never, never do something like this.” She feels her heart heat up when Beca bites her lip to give her smile at least a bit of sarcasm. But then there's a question that raises in her head and even if it may be inappropriate she asks. Chloe isn't one for hiding her thoughts. “You have another idea why you could've changed, don't you?”

Suddenly there's back this serious face. With a touch of the Beca-owned fuck-off glare she's trying to hide. “I do not know what you are talking about, girl” Beca stresses every word and doesn't even shorten the “do not” or “you are”.

“Strange...” Chloe murmurs.

“What?”

Chloe shrugs and does a dismissive gesture with her hands. “Nothing. But I think that you really know what I am speaking about.” No, she doesn't think, Beca knows – she knows. Because she's Chloe motherfucking Beale. “Listen, Becs, I know you. And I think we're better friends then you want to admit. At least we are in my opinion. And there was something that happened like yesterday? Wednesday? Definitely this week. Becs you smelled differently today. A woman doesn't change her perfume for no reason. And don't you dare to lie and say that your old one is empty. Because it isn't.” She sees the defeat in Beca's eyes. And since she doesn't want to tease her above a point where Beca just quits, Chloe asks: “Beca, for real, what happened?”

The defeat in the brunette's eyes extends to her whole body. Her shoulders sink down and her fingers begin to move nervously. Even her look falls down to her feet.

“C'mon Beca, you know you can talk to me.”

“Jesse and I...we had our first time.”

“You were a virgin?”

Beca nearly stares her to death before answering. “No I wasn't. But the first time we, you know, we two had sex. It's just so different when you do it with someone you really love.” Beca looks back up. “Don't you dare asking me about the details. Because you won't get any.”

But she had misread the emptiness in Chloe's face. Something somewhere deep inside her suddenly hurts. She doesn't even know why and it's not even that painful. But it's noticeable and Chloe wonders what it is that's hurting. “No?” She asks to overplay her insecurity. She even pouts. And now she knows it's gonna be easy. She, Chloe Beale, is a master in breaking people's wills. Not in a painful way but with being extremely sweet and making pretty eyes. And also she's a great master in overplaying her feelings. So at the moment she kills two birds with one stone.

“No.” Beca folds her arms in front of her chest. “Not a little piece of information.”

Even though she's taller than Beca, Chloe manages it to blink up to the brunette. She is aware of the power of her baby-blue eyes. Especially if they're combined with a pout and a confused Beca. “You really don't want to share these special moments with your bestie?”

“Who says that you are my bestie?”

Nobody – Chloe just knows. But just before telling that to her friend, she catches the words. She knows that Beca would close totally if she gets such an answer. “I think your interest in who I was stalking earlier on is proof enough, isn't it?” She fights a smile down that's trying to lift her mouth's corners at the view of Beca struggling to find an answer to that.

Surprisingly, the brunette even finds one. “I already said that I think I am one of your best friends so I should have a right to know. I neither said that I'm your best friend nor that you are mine.”

“Becs...”

“No, Beale, not today.”

“I think we're better friends than you like to admit. Just look at the fact that we've seen each other naked.” Beca rolls her eyes and gives Chloe a sarcastic glare. The redhead can't hold back her smile anymore an feels how she smiles so wide that her mouth opens a little bit and she shows her teeth. She's got Beca right where she wants to have her. “You know...”

“C'mon Chloe, that's clearly a foul...”

...not only once. You didn't forget that second time, did you?”

“Will you stop talking if I give you some details?”

Chloe hadn't brought her friend that far to be satisfied with some details. “No. I want them all.”

“Chloe.”

“Becs? There's something you want to say in the moment of your defeat?”

“No. Actually I don't think I lost.” And her smile freezes Chloe's insides.

What does she have up her sleeve? “You don't think so? Why is that?”

“Well I really am interested why you are that interested in my sex life. You don't have struggles with your sexuality, do you?”

Now it's Chloe's turn to turn her friend's face into stone. “I will not lie and say that you really are attractive” Beca blushes and Chloe's smile turns even brighter “but no I am perfectly fine with my sexuality. It's just that I would count you as my best friend and so I have a reasonable interest in your love and even sex life, I think.”

“What's with Aubrey?”

“What has Bree to do with that?”

“I always thought she is your best friend.”

“I think you and Aubrey pretty much are on the same level.” Chloe winks and Beca's cheeks turn from pink to deep red. “And now, I want to hear all the details.”

“Can we at least go to your room? I don't like talking about something like that in a place where everybody could burst in at any moment.”

Chloe nods.

–

When Beca has entered the room Chloe at first slips between her and the door to make sure the younger girl won't leave. “First question...”

“Chloe, we just entered your room.” The redhead cuts her off with a shake of her head.

“If I may ask now.” Her face ironically asking for permission. “Why my room and not yours?”

“Because in my room Amy could come in every time. And you know how good Amy can keep things she heard for herself.”

“Ok. Since that is clear now, let's go for the important stuff.

–

She isn't a person for sleepless nights. Usually she doesn't have any troubles with falling asleep. When she has them, yeah then Chloe always has a problem. Because if she doesn't sleep at night there will be flashbacks and thoughts that tease her in a not-so-good way.

Since Beca left her room half an hour ago, Chloe has lied on her bed and tried to not imagine her best friend and Jesse having sex. For some reason she's angry. And Chloe usually doesn't do angry. She's a completely happy person. She and her family had overcome all the troubles from the past and so she doesn't have anything to worry about or to be angry on. But right now, Chloe feels anger slowly floating through her veins.

She rolls over to lie on her back and looks up to her room's ceiling. Beca was so strange today. She really told Chloe all the things the redhead wanted to know. But somehow Chloe isn't satisfied with that. A quick glance at the clock tells her that it's nearly 1 am and Chloe decides she should phone Aubrey. The blonde ex-Bella told her that she's in San Francisco till 22nd so it isn't to late to phone her.

Chloe quickly dials the number. She hasn't talked to Aubrey since nearly three months – if you say texting isn't talking – so she's really excited to hear her friend's voice again.

“Here's Aubrey Posen.”

“Hi Bree, it's me.”

“Chloe! It's been ages since I heard your voice. How are you doing? Why are you calling? It must be like, one o'clock over there.”

Chloe smiles. Even if Aubrey can be really harsh sometimes and tends to have outbursts of rage she always cares for Chloe. She had apologized nearly a thousand times for the way she'd treated Chloe back in her last year at Barden. “Yeah, it's, uhm, four – no five past one at the moment. I'm fine and I'm calling because I am far away from being fine.”

“What did you do, Chlo?” Aubrey's voice turns from happy to a thing you could describe as sad within a millisecond. “Is it one of the girls? You know I can come over there and smash their tiny little heads against the wall for doing...”

“Bree, it isn't one of the girls.” Which isn't exactly true because Beca has a lot to do with her confused mood. “You don't need to smash anybody's head against a wall.”

“What's it then? The weather? College? Chloe you have to tell me. I can't read your face when you are on the other side of the country.”

“It's, like, uh, it's hard to describe you know. It's just – I'm somehow confused.” Now that is exactly the truth. Chloe's never been so unsure about everything in her entire life.

“About what? Is it about what you will do after college?” 

“No it's more like I am confused about all the things happening around me at the moment. It's not one thing in particular it's more like this whole...” She waves around her hands before she remembers that Aubrey can't see her. “This whole...thing. You ever had the feeling that there's something bigger? Something that consists of everything happening in your life? This thing is what confuses me. Since I can think everything made sense. It wasn't always nice and sometimes it hurt but I never were that uncertain in my entire life. But at the moment it's like I don't know myself. And I like to know everything about everybody, you know that.”

“So tell me. I'll just put you on loud and make something for dinner. You know you can tell me anything.”

Chloe wipes a tear off her cheek. Without noticing she had started to cry. Her feelings all have gotten more and more hurtful with every minute passed. It's not anger anymore but it's not not anger too – Chloe doesn't even know anymore what she's feeling. “Okay. I talked to Beca today. Not a big deal but she told me that she feels like everything around her is changing. But this girl also was strange today. You have to know, she sang under the shower again today. She never did it since your senior year. When I confronted her with that she first tried to deny it but then she said it could be. And she also told me the reason: She and Jesse had sex, you know.” Chloe hears how Aubrey cuts herself off from asking Chloe to tell her more about it. And she's glad the blonde girl does this because Chloe doesn't feel like talking about all the details. “You know how the things you do in a relationship can change people. And Beca is a really excellent example for all this. Since she's together with Jesse she opened up and even talked about us as her friends and so on. But, whatever, you know what you would do if one of your best friends tells you she just had her first time with her boyfriend...” Chloe pauses to give Aubrey a chance to speak.

The former Bella doesn't need to be invited twice. “I would ask her to tell me all the sordid details. But, I'm sorry Chlo, I still don't see where it starts with your confusion.”

“Just wait a minute. Well, you know how this girl is. It needed the complete Chloe-treatment to make her speak about it. An while she told me, like, everything it was okay. At least it felt okay. But since she left I somehow feel angry. But somehow I also don't feel angry but empty. And I don't know why.” Chloe's voice breaks at the end of the sentence and she has to bite her lip to not begin to sob.

Aubrey's voice is soft and warm as she answers. “Listen, girl. Do you remember the time I was so drunk that I told you what a great Bella Beca is even though she just ruined our way to the finals? You know how sincere that was. I never thought that I would say something like that but I had to admit that it was – and still is – the absolute truth. And I think it's time for you to admit something. I think you are angry. But this anger isn't directed towards Beca but towards Jesse.”

“Why would I be angry at him? He didn't do anything wrong.”

“Sweetie, don't lie to yourself. He did something wrong. He slept with your girl.”

“Aubrey! That's so not true.”

“Yes it is. It's not real anger what you're feeling, it's jealousy. Do you remember all the times we did something the first time together? We were behaving like best friends do behave. Maybe a bit closer but I think we both loved us a bit more than just on a friendship level...”

“Still do that, Bree.”

“Aww, me too, Chlo, me too. But every time I saw you and Beca doing something together it was different. Not that you two couldn't just be friends but I don't think you're made for just being friends. At least it's from your side. I never was that good in reading Beca as you are.”

“Bree, I love her. But I don't think I'm in love with her.”

“I never said that. You're right Chloe, you are not in love with her. But you are that close to the edge that I think it's my responsibility to tell you, that, whatever happens, I'm totally okay with that.”

“Aubrey, what shall I do now? I still can't think clearly and I'm still confused about all this.”

“At first you do nothing. Just breath. In. Out. In. Out. Do this until you calmed down a little bit. And then we do what girls do if one of them isn't sure about something that has to do with love: We talk and laugh and make jokes on everybody else's costs until you feel better.”

–

Chloe actually felt better pretty fast. After talking about this and that she ended the call with “Maybe the whole stress with the ICCAs just is to much for me to handle and tomorrow I will laugh and think that all was just overreacted. Thank you anyways, Bree. What would I do without you?”

“Cry your eyes out?” Chloe hears the other girl laugh. “Alright, night, Chlo. I hope we can talk again a bit sooner than in three months.”

“Yeah, I also hope so. Night, Bree.” Chloe hangs up. She'd forgotten something – she knows that. She just doesn't know what it is that she had forgotten. “Oh shit the invite!”

Forgot to ask u smthing O.o

?I listen – or mayb more likely read :D

We wanted to ask u if u want to come over over x-mas :)

Really? Thatd be amazing! :O *-*

So u ll come? :D

Yeah sure! Im super xcited to see the house :)

Nice! Will tell the girls tomorrow :D Night Bree xoxo :*

Night ;) :*

With a smile on her face, Chloe falls asleep.

–

Amy wakes her up the next morning because “There's someone on the door that looks like this girl from Guantanamo”

“It's Guatemala, Amy”, Chloe says with a smile.

“Yeah, whatever, I'll let her in.”

Chloe rubs the sleep out of her eyes and yawns. She likes mornings. It's so quiet at this time of the day. But today she doesn't even hear the cars of the students which leave to her families or something for vacation. Surprised, she opens the curtains and glances out of the window.

It doesn't take her long to find the reason why it's so quiet today: There's about 20 centimeters snow everywhere in the garden and it still snows. Her smile turns brighter. It's such a beautiful view that Chloe nearly forgets to dress and go to welcome the potential new Bella.

“Hey!” Chloe greets the Guatemalan girl with her lips curved into a bright smile “Hope Amy didn't scared you too much.”

“I have met persons double that scary even without a pink sweater.” The girl answers seriously.

The first thing Chloe notices is the strange accent the girl talks with. She plans to ask the girl which language they speak in Guatemala at the next opportunity. But first, there are more important things. “Amy, where's Beca? She's also captain, she should be here.”

“She's asleep right now. I didn't want to disturb her sleep. You know how the girl is in the mornings...” Amy defends herself against the 'I'm tired of your shit'-face Chloe has put on.

“You do everything that nobody else would do but you don't have the guts to wake Beca? Seriously Amy, What's wrong with you?”

“She seemed a bit strange yesterday. I think everybody noticed. I don't want to unleash the dragon you know. There aren't any of them in Tasmania.”

“I'll go and wake her. Sorry, Florencia, I'm back in a minute.”

–

“God Chloe! It's like the middle of the night!” Beca is as grumpy as always in the mornings.

Cute. Chloe's lips curve into a smile. “Not exactly. Even the sun is up, Mitchell. Why aren't you?”

“Because I were asleep, till you came in and destroyed my dreams.” She turns her face to the wall and tries to fall asleep once more. But Chloe already is at the window and opens it. The cold air is enough to make Beca sit up and ask annoyed: “Why do you even bother to wake me up at the first day of holidays?”

“The girl I showed you has arrived. And I think that both captains should be there to decide anything.”

“Listen, Chloe, I will not decide anything if you don't leave me alone to dress and also not before a cup of coffee.”

“Yeah but hurry up we don't have the whole day.” Chloe shouts above her shoulder when she leaves the room. Behind her back she hears her co-captain mutter “Yes we have, Beale, it's weekend and holidays...”

–

By the time, Beca had her coffee – which was, by the way, faster than Chloe thought – every other Bella has gathered around the table once more. The new girl doesn't seem to be comfortable with this situation. She seems to be pretty nervous. Chloe feels that. “No need to be nervous, Flore...”

“You can call me Flo. Everybody calls me like this.”

“Okay. So, Flo, I heard you are a really good singer and that's why you're here. May we hear something of that so we can decide if you are a good enough singer for joining the Bellas?”

Beca throws her a look that says something like “You didn't have to stress that word.”

But Flo just nods and then asks if she can choose freely which song she'll sing. As she's surrounded by murmured approval she starts singing without losing one more second. It's some EDM thing Chloe doesn't recognize at first but she has to admit that the voice of the new girl sounds awesome.

“But my heart beats slow as the storm carries on up high!  
And the clouds roll...”

To everybody's surprise, when Flo ends the sentence, Lilly joins her with her awesome beatboxing skills and they go on together to the end of the song.

“Wow”, Beca says nodding in appreciation. Which is really hard to gain at ten am. “That was awesome, dudes. But Flo, if you would excuse us for a minute, we have to discuss. You could bring your luggage in if you want, I think it really blocks the entrance hall.” And with a smile she points her hand to the door.

“That wasn't exactly subtle, cap.”

“Yeah, know that, Stacie, but I don't want to talk about her when she stands like, five meters beside us.”

“Hmm, I don't think there's that much to discuss.” Ashley starts “I mean, she harmonized perfectly with Lilly and she really has a great voice. She could only be good for us.”

“Yes. I also think so.” Of course Jessica has the same opinion as her best friend.

“Lilly, what do you think? You just sang with her.” Chloe asks. Like every time, nobody understands a word and even Amy who would understand at least two to three words sometimes just shrugs and shakes her head.

“If I may say something...”

“You are allowed to share you opinion.” Amy underlines her interruption with a wave of her hand.

CR just rolls her eyes before going on: “I think that if someone wants to say something against her joining us she should talk now. You see” She says after a little break “I don't think we have different opinions 'bout this. Now it is your decision, captains.”

All eyes are on Beca and Chloe. The brunette looks at her co-captain and says: “If you want to, Chloe...”

“It'd be a pleasure. I think we have a new member girls! Get her in. And inform the trebles and all the other people, we have an unscheduled initiation party to throw.”

–

Since Lilly has disappeared a few minutes after the girls told Flo the news, Chloe wanted to show the new girl the rooms that are free for a new member. They still have three rooms were nobody sleeps so a new member isn't a problem.

“I can choose whatever room I want?” The Guatemalan asks disbelieving.

“Yeah sure. You don't need to hurry if you don't know yet...”

“I know.” Chloe is interrupted. “The one you showed me second. With the view over the lake? I'd love to have this one.”

“Okay. Let me just get the keys. Shall I bring your suitcase up too?” Chloe somehow likes the little person. She seems so different to all the other girls but not any less loveable.

“No, that's okay, I'll get it myself. Can you introduce the others to me later? Last time I didn't know the names of the people I was hanging around with I nearly got shot. Twice.”

“Sure. If I can get them all together at the same time again.” Chloe smiles. If the other girl has more of this stories to tell it will be really fun to get drunk with her.

–

The rest of Chloe's day passes really fast in a mix of introducing the girls to Flo, tidying up her room, cooking for dinner and trying to talk Amy into making the dishes. Most of the time Stacie and Beca are around so it never gets boring. In the evening, when Chloe lets herself sink into the sofa Stacie already lies on her mattress and Beca sits on the table scrolling through something on her phone.

“Did you ask Aubrey yet?” The smaller brunette glances over her phone.

Stacie stops polishing her nails for a moment and looks up to Chloe. “What should you ask the she-demon?”

“Stace, you aren't Amy, don't call people names.” Chloe sighs. It has been a tiring day. “Yes I asked her, Becs, I just forgot to tell you, 'm sorry.”

“Don't have to be. What did she say?”

“She said she would love to come over. She's in San Francisco till 22nd but I think she can come over at Christmas Eve.”

“You asked Aubrey to come over over Christmas?” Stacie's eyes light up in excitement and she looks like a child that's ready to open her Christmas gifts.

“Yes, I told Chlo that it maybe would be nice if Aubrey could come over since we haven't seen her in a while and she agreed to ask her.” Chloe notices a smile in Beca's face. Not a really big one, but there is a smile. “But why did you forget to tell us? You're not that kind of person who forgets things because of a stressful day. Did you try to repress something that goes together with that?” Beca smirks. Chloe knows that the two brunettes are having fun right now – more fun than Chloe wants them to have.

“Maybe I do, Becs.” Chloe blows a kiss and winks. From the corner of her eye she sees Stacie looking like she has understood something she's tried to figure out since her birth. But Beca reacts totally different: Her mouth pops open and she takes a deep breath.

“You and Aubrey? I thought you two just were friends?”

“Beca? Since when are you gossiping?” The surprise is written in Stacie's face and voice and Beca and Chloe burst into laughter.

“It's not gossiping if it's my best friend, is it?”

“But it is gossiping if it's not true, Becs.” Chloe says and smiles at the look of disappointment in Beca's face. “C'mon, Mitchell, you can do better.”

“Now I thought I will have something in hand against you one time and then you crush my hopes like that. That's brutal, Chloe.”

Chloe's eyes jumping between Stacie's and Beca's recognize theirs doing the same thing until the three girls start to laugh simultaneously. “'llright guys, I'll leave you alone now. Have to catch some sleep.” And with a good night hug from Stacie Chloe walks towards the stairs.

While she lies there exhausted from the day, the third-year senior thinks about how much she loves these girls and with a smile on her lips thinking of Aubrey coming soon, she falls asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter did cost me somehow more time than I thought and it would have taken twice as long if there wasn't my good friend lemonade that kept me awake in th evenings. So like in the first chapter, if there's anything to say about it, feel free to write a comment. Hopefully I can continue writing soon :D


	3. Chapter 3

“I don't get this girl.” Beca sighs at the moment Chloe has left for the stairs. “She is a person who really likes to talk and also about herself but somehow she still has secrets.” She shakes her head.

“Well ya know, cap, she doesn't keep her secrets as good as you think. I think she doesn't even know herself how bad she actually is at that.” Stacie takes a handful of peanut flips before continuing. “I think most of the things she says and also does are pretty obvious.”

“Sorry Stace, I don't think I get what you're trying to tell me.”

The tall girl raises her finger while chewing as to say “hold up a second”. She then takes a deep breath and her mouths curves into a smile before she answers: “That has to wait until later. Can I ask you something, cap?”

With a confused look on her face, Beca shrugs and then nods. “Yeah, why not.”

“Okay. Normally I'm not the Amy-type of girl that interferes in the relations between her close friends, but – you and Chloe...”

Stacie doesn't end her sentence so it takes Beca a moment to realize what her friend wants to ask. “No.” She looks at Stacie with a shake of her head. “Honestly, we're just friends, Stacie. Nothing more. Maybe the co-leading of the Bellas makes it look like we do more together than normal friends do but we don't. Really, we...”

“I get it, cap.” Stacie puts a single flip between her red lips and smirks. “You're trying a bit too hard, don't you think so?” Beca gasps as she suppresses an answer and then glares at Stacie. But the slightly younger Bella just smiles and says: “Look, Beca, it's not only that you do more together than normal friends do – what is a lot when you consider that you are part of the friendship – but you never call anyone by their nicknames, but you called her 'Chlo' today. I am not a dumb person, Beca, and I don't like to be treated like one, so just call me what's going on between you two. I mean, for fuck's sake, not even you can be that blind.”

Beca reaches out for the bag with the flips in Stacie's hand before she even considers to answer. Stacie waits patiently. After a while, when Beca has the right words together she looks up to the lamps and begins to speak. “I really don't know, Stacie. I think you know me good enough to know that I am not a person who is good at interacting with people. And since I can't get around it in this house there are often things happening I just don't understand. Well, not not understand, but...yeah, not understand but also not not understand...” She bites her lips and looks around the room unsure if Stacie even understood what she tried to tell her. “And that I started calling her – and also you, you little goofball – by nickname is one of these things. Because I know why I somehow did it without recognizing – obviously because you are my friends – but I don't know why I didn't do it before and why it started, like, today. And I don't know if you know what feeling awkward is like, but it is exactly like this.”

“Oh cap, you're such a weirdo.” Stacie's smile could light up the whole room even with lights out.

“Thanks, I already knew that.”

“So you really think it's just because after three years somehow you started calling friends by their nicknames.”

“I would say after one and a half years. I didn't even like Amy that much in our first year.”

“You know what I wanted to say. But what I want to say: You know that you can come and talk to me about everything every time? If something gets really weird and you don't want to tell Chloe because you don't want to ruin your friendship, you can call me, text me or just come to my room, you know?”

“What would be such a thing?” Beca asks with a confused face.

“If it gets that far, you will know. But now the important things: What do you know about Ash and Jess? They don't hang half the day around without the other one if there hasn't happened anything.”

Beca smiles. She also has asked herself that the whole day. And even if nobody – not even Chloe – knows that, Beca loves talking about other people. She doesn't do it that often because mostly she's just to awkward and introvert for it but if she does it she enjoys it even more than...things...

–

After two hours have passed filled with talking and only interrupted when Cynthia-Rose has joined them, Beca has a sore throat and tells the other girls she'll go to sleep now. The evening has really taken it out of her and she's glad she can go to bed now.

It's not that Beca isn't a night person, because she totally is. But normally she stays up all night mixing stuff and drinking coke and other totally over-sugared drinks to avoid falling asleep. Once Amy had asked her how she can stay awake the whole night without coffee or energy drinks and before Beca even had the chance to answer, the Australian mumbled something like “Perks of being a dwarf. Shit persons don't need that much energy to stay alive after 48 hours of no sleep...” and went down the stairs. But tonight Beca is that tired she isn't even after a night shift of mixing or learning. The first day of her holidays hasn't been that relaxing Beca would've liked it to be.

When she gets to the room she shares with Amy, the first thing she notices is the lack of Australians in there. Not that she's sad about it or even wonders, Amy often stays out all night to come back the next day around noon. She even used to do it before rehearsing but after the fourth or fifth time Chloe had told her she has to leave the Bellas if that behavior doesn't change. Beca smiles at the memory of the redhead totally outraging which happens like one time a year. Beca glances around the room before getting out of her jeans and t-shirt she has worn the whole day. She reaches for a pair of short sweatpants and a comfortable shirt that lies on her desk chair. Ready for bed she first goes to the bathroom to brush her teeth and then lies down on her bed and snuggles up in her blanket. She falls asleep the moment the warmth of her blanket floods her body.

–

The next few days pass in a mix of Jessica baking more and more cookies – which get better every time she makes them, Chloe rushing up and down the house to tidy everything up before Aubrey's arrival on the morning of Christmas Eve and Flo getting introduced to all the things going on in their house. Beca mostly stays in her room these days. She doesn't really like all this preparing-for-Christmas-stuff. So she sits in front of her laptop and listens to music.

When Jesse texts her on 23rd that she should come over she takes the the occasion to leave the Bella house with all the people – even Amy – rushing around to make it look festively even if her boyfriend wants to watch films all day long she thanks god for the opportunity to have a day without anybody bursting into her room asking her stupid questions about the decoration of the living room.

Much to her surprise, Jesse doesn't want to watch one of his films with her. “I thought you could need a break from you Bella sisters. I don't think Christmas time at your sorority house does you any good.”

At first, she looks at him like he has offered her a million dollars. Then, with a smile on her lips, she says: “You've never been so right, idiot. These girls drive me crazy.”

“What do they do? Is Amy 24/7 calling people names?”

“She does that the whole time. That wouldn't stress me out that much. But we invited Aubrey over so everybody thinks the whole house has to be cleaned up and all this stuff...Yesterday evening they even argued about where to put the stars Ashley made because Amy didn't want to put 'em on the window. They argued three fucking hours. Can you imagine?”

“I can, Becs.”

Beca just throws him a sarcastic smile.

“But talking about the important things: Didn't you girls say you had to throw a spontaneous initiation party? How comes we still didn't get the invites?” He looks at her in a way that suggests he would be really disappointed if the Trebles weren't invited to the party.

“First of all” Beca starts “We still have to throw this party because somehow everybody forgot that we wanted to do that. Secondly you guys come over when you get the smallest hint that a party is going on. I never thought you still would do this without Bumper but I think I was wrong...” She sighs.

“We're boys - of course we do such things” Jesse tries to explain this behavior. “But why did you all forget to throw a party? Nobody forgets such a thing!”

“As you can see: We do forget these things.” Beca rolls her eyes “ The girls just stress themselves so much with that Aubrey-thing and all the Christmas stuff because I think nobody's going to celebrate Christmas with their families so it's the first time we just celebrate it all at our own. You know...” She gestures with her hands before leaning her head against her boyfriend's chest.

“Aaah yes, Christmas stress. I'm glad we're boys and don't give a shit how our house looks like as long as we all get presents and can celebrate all day long.” Jesse smiles. “I don't think that many people stay at the campus over Christmas. At least all my friends who aren't Trebles go home. Do you know anybody who stays?”

Beca shrugs. “Dunno. Maybe Kimmy. Can't imagine her having fun with her family over Christmas.”

“I thought she changed a bit?”

“Yeah a little bit. But nonetheless I was glad when I got away from her as a roommate.” Beca smiles thinking back at her first “conversation” with Kimmy Jin. “Other question: Do you have any good games in here?”

“For PlayStation or what?”

“Yeah. I'd really like to beat you at one of your own games. It's been a long time since I played the last time. Mostly because certain persons just want to watch films.” She throws him a look and with a smile on her face she kisses him.

Jesse laughs. “I don't know if I have anything you can beat me in but we could play FIFA. I've got the newest one in November.”

“What the hell is FIFA? Is that even a real word?” Beca doesn't think so.

“No it isn't a word...” Ha, she has been right “...it's an abbreviation. Stands for Fédération Internationale de Football Association, French for International Federation of football Association.”

“I didn't know there's such a thing in football.” Beca honestly never has heard of something like that.

Jesse sighs and leans back before explaining. “It's not our football. This is the world federation of soccer.”

“Why do they call it football?”

“You've never seen a match did you?” As Beca shakes her head, he continues: “They play it with a ball which is kicked by their feet, so the logical conclusion is to call it football. And I think it's way more interesting than our football. But don't tell that to anyone, don't want to be declared enemy of the state number one.” He laughs. “So if you still want to play it...”

“I can try.” Beca smiles. She loves playing video games with Jesse even if it's something really rare or maybe just because of that. She never thought that it would be that much fun to play video games. Honestly, when Jesse first wanted to play Halo with her she thought it would be like watching movies but it definitely wasn't. Beca became better and better at every game they played and soon she and Jesse were on pretty much the same level so it never got boring. “Well let's see how long it takes for me to make you sulk this time.”

“You keep your little mouth shut, lady.” But Jesse laughs while saying this.

–

“Will you ever turn your phone off when we're watching a movie?” Jesse pauses the film the two are watching right now. After one and a half hours he had insisted on watching a movie and Beca of course could say what she wanted to but could not convince him of that being a bad idea.

“Usually it's on silent when you insist on watching movies”, Beca tries to defend herself.  
The phone starts ringing again.  
“May I...?”

Jesse just makes a gesture of defeat and shrugs.

Before sliding the green button on her phone to the right to answer the phone Beca gives her boyfriend a quick kiss. “Yeah, Beca Mitchell here.”

“Hey there, cap. You didn't look at the screen, did you?”

Beca can here how Stacie smiles while saying that. “No I didn't. Sorry that I couldn't answer your first call. I couldn't stop certain persons from talking before you hung up.”

“So that's the question: Which persons are that important that you let alone your Bella sisters and don't give a shit about us decorating the house and doing important stuff?”

“At first I'm over at the Treble's because you guys really destroyed my nerves. And you really want to tell me that you are helping the other girls decorating?” Beca laughs. She couldn't imagine that Stacie would actually help them preparing for Christmas. Well, to be fair, they could move in in the sorority house just three months ago so there wasn't that big of a chance for Stacie to help in the house but still Beca rates it as highly unlikely.

“Aubrey is hardly gone for seven months and you get cheeky, girl...Of course I help decorating the house. But I can name you the one and only Bella not helping if you want me to.”

“I get it Stace, I'm the devil because I did not help a bit. When I'm back later I will help y'all.” Beca throws Jesse a murderous glare because he is nearly dying from silent laughter right beside her.

“Don't take it that seriously, cap. You can stay at Jesse's as long as you want, I just wanted to know where you are.”

“What – why...Stacie, is it bad if I don't get what you are talking about right now? And you” she points at her boyfriend who bursts out laughing “keep you fucking mouth shut, mister!” But Beca can't help but smiles.

“I know your in company of your boyfriend because you wouldn't have another reason to step into the Treble's house and I wanted to know where you are so that I can either tell Chloe a lie and know it is a lie or tell her the truth and know it is true. I think in that occasion I'll go with the lie.” Stacie laughs. “Bye, cap.”

“Wait...urgh. I would make her run laps for hanging up when I'm not finished but that wouldn't bother her.” Beca mutters.

Jesse – still giggling like a little girl – points at the TV. “Should we finish this movie or do you want somebody to not hang up on you before you're finished?” He gets his giggles under control and with a sly smile he turns off the TV-screen and starts kissing her.

“Oh, I would love finishing the movie”, Beca says in a break between their kisses. When Jesse suddenly gets a shocked look at his face she just laughs and continues kissing him. Jesse wants to say something but Beca softly takes his face in her hands and whispers: “I would love to finish this movie.” She takes his hands and leads them to her hips from where on they directly start to go upwards. “But, you know, it could be a really dirty one.”

–

“Still want to watch a movie?”

“Of course I am.” With a sarcastic grin Beca turns to her boyfriend. “Maybe I would want to today but I have to help the girls with the decoration stuff, you know.” She shrugs and sits up on the edge of Jesse's bed searching for her clothes. After a while she turns around and asks: “Do you have any clue where my shirt and panties went?”

“You mean the things you slept in?” Jesse laughs. “You're still tired, aren't you?”

Beca feels her face turning red. It starts at her cheeks and then goes up to her ears. “I think exhausted would be the better word”, she says while looking away embarrassed.

“You slept like two and a half hours and you're still exhausted?”, he asks Beca who's just dressing. “Girl you need to sleep more. By the way”, Jesse adds and waves with Beca's mobile phone “you have missed calls. Don't worry, I didn't look who it was I just turned it off after the second.” She reaches out for her mobile phone but Jesse refuses to give it back to her without receiving a kiss.

“You just can't trade an illegally taken mobile phone for a kiss.” Beca shakes her head with a smile.

“Becaaaw.”

“Don't you dare to do these puppy eyes. You're not five anymore.”

“Pleeease.”

“Oh god, I don't know if you even are old enough for having sex. Good lord, you'll get your kiss, but first I get my phone.” Jesse hands her her phone and Beca gives him his demanded kiss even if she feels super awkward leaning over to kiss her boyfriend who's still sitting in bed. “You could at least stand up, Jesse.” As an answer he just shrugs.

The Treble's house is suspiciously quiet for a quit normal afternoon when Beca leaves it through the backdoor. Outsides she turns on her phone to see who had called her. Jesse said he had turned it off after first two calls but when Beca turns it back on there are “Ten fucking missed calls? Girls, you have no chills.” She glances down at the screen. Stacie had called her one time, CR also once, Chloe had called her three times and Amy the remaining five times. “One day I will kill that girl”, Beca grumbles. After a short time of thinking she decides that Chloe is the person she wants to hear the most so she dials her number.

“Hey Becs! Where have you been we have tried to call you a thousand times!”

“Exactly it was ten times, Chloe, and that's more than enough. I slept so I wasn't able to answer the phone I'm sorry. Did I...”

“Doesn't matter. Come over as soon as possible we have things to talk about.”

“Did I do something wrong?” Suddenly, Beca is unsure about the last days. She doesn't know if there was anything that could have upset her Bella sisters but a laughter clear like a spring washes away her worries.

“No you didn't sweetheart. But nonetheless it would be nice if you were able to be here in less than half an hour.”

Beca laughs in relief. “I think I can make it in under half a minute. Of course you have to open the door for me.” Her smile grows when she sees how the redhead turns towards the windows and the glass door that gives a perfect view in their garden and nearly falls over Stacie who's lying at the mattress as usual. “I think I can hang up now”, Beca says after Chloe has opened the door.

“Yes, you can. And now come in.” The warmth of their living room embraces Beca the second she steps in.

“'sup Cap?”

“Hi Stace.”

Chloe interrupts the two younger Bellas by noticeable clearing her throat. And with a voice that's filled with disappointment she says: “I think you two have to tell me something.”

“Stace, do you know what she's talking about?”

The tall brunette first shrugs but then... “Ah yes, I think there is something she should be angry about, cap. So, Chlo, it's my fault not Beca's.”

Beca looks as confused as she feels. “Wait, what are you talking about? Guys, it's absolutely fucking uncool when there is something going on and someone going mad and I don't even know why!”

“Jesse?” Chloe barks.

“What does he have to do with that? It would be really nice if you would talk to me and not just throw words around the room, Chloe.” Last time Beca has been so angry she just came out of jail and told Jesse she didn't need his help.

“You told Stacie to lie and tell me that you're not over at the Treble's. You didn't even say bye when you left this morning...”

“Okay, stop, Chlo. I did not tell Stacie anything – sorry Stace, but I really didn't – and I thought it would be better to take the opportunity and leave the house before you come to me and try to convince me to help decorating the house. I'm sorry for having a boyfr...”

“Stay calm, cap. See, Chloe, I thought maybe it wouldn't be the best thing if I told you that Beca has gone to her boyfriend because...Chlo, you know why...” Way to Beca's surprise, Chloe shrugs and nods. “You see? And I didn't think that this girl gets sleepy before noon. I'm sorry girls...” Stacie looks down to her feet.

Chloe makes a sad face and hugs her. “I'm sorry, I didn't want to rage out that much, it was just...never mind. But, Becs...”

“Hm?”

“Why have you been sleepy that early today?” And she says it with such a smirk in her face that Beca suddenly realizes something.

“You guys planned all this, didn't you?” Stacie beams like an atomic bomb an nods. “So where are the others? These gossiping human beings can't be far away when there's such a topic in the air.”

“They aren't here.” Chloe calms her down.

“Then why all this drama? It's not like you couldn't have asked me without acting like the biggest drama queens of the century.”

Stacie sighs, glances over to Chloe, then raises her eyebrows and says: “Cap, you know that you wouldn't have told us one little bit if we didn't acted like we did.”

“I won't do it now.” Chloe and Stacie both throw her a burning glare because of the interruption.

“We knew you would say this. But, Beca, we know why you slept, like, the whole morning. We aren't dumb. But what bothers us is that you came when we told you to. You had such awesome sex – Oh my god, Beca, it's not that embarrassing to talk about it – that you just fell asleep for two hours in the fucking morning but instead of staying with your boyfriend you decide to come over. Did something happen?” Now Stacie's voice has became soft and worried.

Beca's mouth drops open and she needs some time to get the words together. “I, no, I don't have a problem with anything at the moment, it's just, you know, I'm not that good at interacting with people and you wanted me to come so I came.” She turns her hands so that her palms point up. “It's really sweet that you worry about my love life that much but there really isn't anything to worry about.” Beca looks around the room. “And there really isn't anybody of the others?”

Chloe laughs. “No, Becs – well Lily could be everywhere everybody else is out buying party stuff.”

“Party stuff?”

“Stace, do you want...?”

The youngest Bella takes place on the armrest of the smaller couch before talking. “I hope you didn't forget that there's still an initiation party to throw, cap. And with the other special happening in form of Aubrey visiting us we decided to kill two birds with on stone and have this party today. Maybe you noticed that there weren't any Treble's at the house when you left?” Beca nods. “They are also out shopping for today and also trying to keep Aubrey away from our house as long as we're not ready. We did a lot while you were screwing around.”

“I was not screwing around, Stacie!”

“I know, I know, cap. You really don't want us to have fun today, do you?” Stacie grins.

Chloe claps her hands together. “Good, now that this is clear we still have something to do here. After all we didn't just stay home to wait for you Becs.”

“You didn't?” Beca laughs at the way how Chloe needs her time to get that it was sarcastically said. “So, what do we have to do now?”

“Tidying up all this” Stacie points around the room “and also the rest of the house as far as possible before the dragon arrives.”

“Stacie!”

“Sorry Chlo.” She blows the redhead a kiss and goes on “But, cap, I have to say we didn't do that much at the time of your abstinence, sooo...” Stacie shrugs and makes her typical “Sorry, not sorry”-face. “I'll go and tidy up my room. I think the bathrooms are tidy enough?” When her two captains nod she continues: “I can also take care of Ash and Jess' room. Flo didn't even empty her bags so there are four rooms left for you to clean up. Well, three – I don't think anybody wants to move something in Lily's room to a place where it doesn't belong.”

Beca nods and looks over to her co-captain. “You take care of your room and CR's? Then I can take a shower and look how to put my room in order. Even if I don't know what Aubrey would want in there.”

“You never know who wants to visit sou in your room, Becs.” Chloe winks and easily boxes against Beca's shoulder before leaving to the stairs.

Stacie pouts and says: “Why can't I get the special Chloe-treatment? I also want a girl to be attracted to me.”

“Stace, what the hell are you talking about?”

Stacie clearly has to stifle her laughter while answering: “Oh, nothing Beca. I just...never mind.” Of course she fails miserably and bursts out laughing.

Beca tilts her head suspiciously and furrows her brows. Then, with a smile, she asks: “Stacie, is there something I should know? Concerning tonight?”

“What- what are you talking about?” The gorgeous Bella gasps in between her laughter. “And why the fuck are you grinning like an idiot?” her last words drown in a new wave of laughter.

“Did you drink, Stacie?” Beca's eyes fly over the other Bella's pink cheeks. It wouldn't be that obvious if Stacie hadn't decided not to put on make up today.

“Maybe I had my coffee with a splash of rum today. But I swear that was all I drank this morning.” Beca doesn't understand what Stacie adds after a little break because she's still giggling.

“And what did you drink when the morning went over to midday and afternoon?”

Stacie smiles sheepish at her and shrugs. “Maybe a little more? Maybe not. Who knows?”

“I know that Aubrey wasn't the nicest person but do you really have to be drunk when she comes back for the first time in months? Even I think I can make it through the evening sober.” Beca throws her a reproachful glance. “Or didn't you drink because of her?”

All of a sudden, Stacie stops giggling. Her face nearly turns to stone and she bites her – suddenly trembling – bottom lip. “You know remember the homework I did in physics? The prof said somebody brought him exactly the same work a few hours before me. He says he can't grade me if we can't prove that either on of us has copied from the other one or that nobody has copied from the other one. My whole work was pointless.”

Beca looks around the room for help. She just can't handle emotions, especially the sad ones. “So, uhm, you said you can't be graded if these things aren't proved. What's with the other person?”

“I it was my maths professor. Somebody I often talked with about this essay. I even showed him my work before submitting it. He helped me a lot with all this mathematical stuff nobody gets. But now I know that he just used me to put him in a better light an submitted my essay in his name. He even published it on his website with detailed descriptions of every step that led to complete the work. The problem is that I can't prove it's my work because he changed all the obvious things like name and date and so on and also he's a goddamn professor. Who would believe me in an argument when he is the opponent?” Tears begin running out of Stacie's eyes and she quietly sobs. “That was like my perfect application for becoming a doctoral candidate. That was my fucking dream all of my life! I have dreamed of that since I was ten.”

“Dreamed of what?” With this question, Chloe enters the room. The smile on her face vanishes when she sees the totally devastated Stacie leaning over the backrest of the smaller couch. “What happened?”

“Her essay.” Beca answers. “her maths prof submitted it in his name and so Stacie did all this for nothing.” She turns to the redhead and whispers: “It would be nice if you could take of her. I can't handle crying persons. I just don't know what to do with them...”

Chloe nods and answers: “You just have to look after the rooms upstairs because I think Stacie and I can't do that much concerning that today.”

While Chloe turns towards Stacie and starts to comfort her, Beca lets out a sigh of relief and goes upstairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the long time since the last chapter went up but I couldn't handle school hobbies and writing all at once so I just wrote like one sentence a day. But luckily lately I was sick so I could take the time to write. Hope it was worth the long waiting.  
> And as always feel free tell me what you think. I hope the next chapter won't come up as late as this one.


End file.
